Post A Joke

[fishermans wife347]

1. I feed my worms viagara by accident.The suckers turned to nails. 2. did you hear about a chinese couple they had a injured baby,They named him SUM TING WONG.

[chicka]

Thats the way keep the jokes clean and as the rules state-No Swearing or blasphemy.
A grasshopper goes in a bar and the bartender says "Wev'e got a drink named after you"
The grasshopper says "What Kevin"

[nomad]

Marriage is like a card game, at the start all you need is hearts and diamonds but at the end you wish you had a club and spade

[fisherman347]

LOL,Nomad...Now i take it if we use words from the dictonary it's ok.
Well,when i was in 3rd grade at school,we were all told by friends to look up the word Fart & read the deninition.
It read Fart,(a small explosion between the legs) what we thought at the time was hilarious,but wait it gets better.
Just recently,i thought i look the word up again,in the so called new you beaut oxford updated version,and it reads.
Fart,(to expel gas from the annus) roflmao.......


A man in his early 20's was found dead in a toilet block.
On discovery he was found naked lying front down.
But the bizzare bit ,on discovery there was believed to be a wheat bix protruding from this man's backside.
Police are looking for a cerial killer.......

[koala2661]

A yellow toad was feeling sad for himself, as all the forest creatures laughed at him, especially the girl toads. A fairy godmother saw him and asked what was wrong. After telling her his woeful tale, the toad asked the fairy godmother if she could change his colour.
"Sure" said the fairy, and changed the toad into a beautiful lime green - except for his penis.
"hang on" says the toad, "what about my penis?".
The fairy godmother replies "I dont do them, you'll have to see the Wizard of Oz for that.
So the toad hops on his merry way to see the Wizard of Oz.
The fairy godmother continues on her way until she runs into a purple bear.
"Jeez bear, you're brightly coloured" says thefairy.
The bear breaks down into tears and tells the fairy about how all his mates hang crap on him about being purple, about how he can't get any chick bears and how the hunters spot him so easily.
The fairy godmother takes pity on the bear, and changes his colour into a nice butch brown bear colour -except for his scrotum, which remained bright purple.
"come on," says the bear. I cant get round like this, cant you colour my nuts too?
"Nup" says the fairy godmother. "You'll have to see the Wizard of Oz to get that done"
"How the hell am I supposed to find the Wizard of Oz?" cries the bear.
"Follow the yellow dick toad"says the fairy.....

[koala2661]

Someone asked me the other day
"What's your pet hate"
I said "it doesnt really like things shoved up it's bum"

[koala2661]

Bashed the wife the other day..
The cop said "Why do you keep beating her?"
I said "I think it's my superior height advantage, longer reach and better footwork."

[Greenfisha]

The Baptist & The Texas Cowboy...

A Baptist Preacher was seated next to a cowboy on a flight to Texas .
After the plane took off, the cowboy asked for a whiskey and soda, which
was brought and placed before him.

The flight attendant then asked the
preacher if he would like a drink. Appalled, the preacher replied, "I'd
rather be tied up and taken advantage of by women of ill-repute, than
let liquor touch my lips."

The cowboy then handed his drink back to the
attendant and said,

"Me too, I didn't know we had a choice."

[nomad]

Sorry got buckleys but here goes

Joel Monaghan Quit the Raiders, but has been signed by the Bulldogs and offered the captaincy. The newspaper headlines read "Monaghan accepts head job from dogs".

[ambigua]

What did the fish say when he hit a dead end ? Dam!