Post A Joke

[fishermans wife347]

I like hearing jokes, so if you have any do tell here is one to start off with. What do you call a chinese sixty niner.Two can chew lol.

[mr magoo]

The police came to my door last night holding a picture of my wife.

They said "is this your wife sire?" Shocked I answered "yes"

They said "I'm afraid it looks like she's been in a car accident".

I said "I know, but she has a lovely personality":D:D

[goodoocrazy]

what do you call a fly buzzing around in a blondes head..........a space invader

[Andy72]

A PROFESSR AT THE UNIVERSITY OF SYDNEY WAS GIVING A LECTURE ON " INVOLUNTARY MUSCULAR CONTRACTIONS " TO HIS FIRST YEAR MEDICAL STUDENTS. REALISING THIS WAS NOT THE MOST RIVERTING SUBJECT, THE PROFESSOR DECIDED TO LIGHTEN THE MOOD SLIGHTLY. HE POINTED TO A YOUNG WOMAN IN THE FRONT ROW AND SAID " DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR ASSHOLE IS DOING WHILE YOU ARE HAVING AN ORGASM? " SHE REPLIED, " PROBABLY FISHING WITH HIS MATES"

[freshwater fisherman]

Not so much a joke but here's a funny text message I got from a mate of mine yesterday.

"I hate having to crush up pills and put them in nana's food, it feels so sneaky, but if I ever got her pregnant I'd never forgive myself"

Yes ,yes I know, I do have some sick friends LMAO

[fisherman347]

Hi everyone,some funny ones so far.
This one i have is actually a true storey,i was working on this farm several years ago,were there were a few of us start the same day.
Well come smoko,one of the new fella's asked the boss,were the toilet was,the boss replyed just over there behind the spray shed.
That was ok,however 5 minutes later this new fella returned,with one of his shirt sleeves missing,the boss asked what happened to you?
The new fella simply replyed,there was no toilet paper.....

[mr magoo]

Hi everyone,some funny ones so far.
This one i have is actually a true storey,i was working on this farm several years ago,were there were a few of us start the same day.
Well come smoko,one of the new fella's asked the boss,were the toilet was,the boss replyed just over there behind the spray shed.
That was ok,however 5 minutes later this new fella returned,with one of his shirt sleeves missing,the boss asked what happened to you?
The new fella simply replyed,there was no toilet paper.....

I've seen that happen on building sites a few times. lol

But the one that got me, was when I went into the site dunny and some one had piec's of fibre glass insulation wall bats to use as paper! I never found out who did it but I'd have to say they had a rough ride.....

[Andy72]

Cardiologist's Funeral

A very prestigious cardiologist died and was given a very
elaborate funeral by the hospital he worked for most of his life...
A huge heart covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the
service as all the doctors from the hospital sat in awe. Following
the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside.The heart
then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever.


At that point, one of the mourners just burst into laughter. When
all eyes stared at him, he said, 'I am so sorry, I was just thinking
of my own funeral... I'm a gynaecologist.


The vicar fainted.

[CanberraDan47]

I asked God for a bike, but i know he doesn't work that way, so i stole a bike & asked him for forgiveness!!!!

[CanberraDan47]

Noah on the ark says to his wife. "I'm really bored, I'm going to do a bit of fishing" and wanders off. He's back half an hour later saying "I'm still bored" His wife say's "I thought you were going to do a bit of fishing, why stop after half an hour?" He says "Well I only had two worms"